Stephenie Meyer, Seriously?!?

There is a site called I Write Like.

So far it’s told me that I write like Cory Doctorow, William Gibson, Daniel Defoe , Lewis Carroll, Arthur Clarke, William Shakespeare, H.P. Lovecraft, Stephen King, Douglas Adams, Ernest Hemingway, J.D. Salinger, Stephenie Meyer, David Foster Wallace and James Fenimore Cooper.

The only connection seems to be that they all wrote in English. I’m now pretty sure the buggers just draw up a random name.

I have broken it! My God!

Double-decker joy.

Heh heh. I came back by a double-decker train this time. It is the very much fun. Although it only has a/c chair cars and hence is slightly expensive. Also the only food items available on the train are chips, biscuits, frooti and water. Comes of not having a pantry car. But since it only takes two and a half-hours to get to Durgapur, I’m not complaining. Also it is damn fun to sit on(in?) the upper deck and watch the platform. The lower deck is also fun. As you can tell, I sampled the window seats of both decks.

In other news, I have to report that Ubuntu is not invulnerable and does break. I believe I managed to break it by trying to download through WINE which screwed up my drivers. Ah well. I’ve done a clean install of Ubuntu 11.10. I’m quite liking the new Unity interface. It reminds me a lot of the OSX UI.

In even more news, I re-read the entire Harry Potter series in reverse order in these past few days and have come to the following conclusions. The last three books are not that bad. In fact, in book five, there’s a line which only makes sense if you’ve read book seven. And even then it’s not a hugely striking line and the real explanation is only evident if you make the connection. I have to admit, my respect for that woman has increased.

In even more news, I have to write a term paper in the next 48 hours. Life is soon going to get interesting.

Also, I just realised that over the years, by buying all those tech magazines, I have accumulated 98 CDs and 33 DVDs. It is a slightly scary thought that there will be people who will have even more.

Boo!

It’s just a thought.

B.B. King is Morgan Freeman. Yngwie Malmsteen is the guy who speaks fast at the end of commercials.

I found this on the internet and I must admit I really liked it.

No offense to Malmsteen, of course.

Or B.B. King.

Of cabbages and kings.

Hey world! What’s up with you? Not that I’m interested. This is my blog, not yours. So get your own blog!

Anyway, sorry for that disturbing scene, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight’s entertainment is my mangled finger. While that may sound like some Emocore band, it is, quite literally, my mangled thumb. You may be wondering how it got mangled. If you’re imagining that my thumb has become a torn, bloody chunk of meat… seriously, try therapy.

A cat bit my thumb. Interestingly, my friends thought of the same joke. Oh well, you know what they say about wise men. And fools, now that I think about it. The incident happened on the thursday before last. I was bringing our cat back from a creche where we had placed it. Incidentally, I realize that I haven’t said a word on this blog about the cat. I shall now digress and tell you all how the cat came to be.

In the beginning there was a tom cat… and then after much wailing and gnashing of teeth… I spotted a cat hiding in a corner of my room near my cot. It seemed to be injured so I fed it. Soon it became friendly and started treating the mess as its own. Then one day it came in injured with one eye popping out. To cut a long story short, I was bringing it back to the mess.

It was in a pink basket and I think its sense of aesthetics was jarred severely. It tried to escape, got stuck and bit me. “Bit me hard, it bit me good / It caused my thumb to swell up like some succulent fruit” and it also caused me to have twelve puncture marks on my thumb. It looks kinda cool, actually.

There is also injured pup in the mess which we hope will make it.

Also the cat, which was being called “Billi” will probably be renamed “Pataudi” or possibly “Tiger” in honour of the man.

Also, never trust life when it seems like there’s too much drama. It’s merely gearing up for the sock filled with the lead of sordidness. If it seems too dramatic to be true, it is. And there will be a bitter awakening.

I might be wrong, of course. But I doubt it. Things are random and there is no grand plan. I should know. I’m God! I can barely figure out how to make this thing work. Bloody instruction sheet!

Update :: The pup, named Doggerel Barua A.K.A. The Amazing Mercurochrome died yesterday (The 26th of September, 2011), possibly of rabies. The pup fought but such is life. It sucks. Especially since we had managed to find a home for it and all. Oh well.

And the end draws nearer…

So one more year of my life has gone by. I am now older. I can feel many manifestations of it now. I’m less scornful of people taking rickshaws everywhere. I now get aches and pains following strenuous, physical activity. But I still retain my carefree outlook on life. So while my body might give up, I’ll will it to do all the crazy shit I always do.

I’m afraid I didn’t really gain much wisdom that I could bore you with this year. I gained experience but no wisdom. I did gain a wisdom tooth. Painlessly, I should add. Unlike other people who were put through some incredible pain. See what I meant about forcing my body to do all kinds of crazy shit? My mind has the final say, always!

I’ve learnt plenty of new shit. One of the things I’ve learnt is that WordPress’s spell checker puts a red squiggle under both ‘learnt’ and ‘wordpress’. I also learnt that Samsung has a really stupid dictionary in its phones. Other lessons, you either already know, don’t want to know or can’t be told. You’ll just have to wait till I publish my memoirs.

My social skills are non-existent, I’ve realised. This thought makes me very happy for reasons unknown. Anonymity is a beautiful thing. Transient moments feel better than recorded events. Now I’m just talking shit and trying to annoy everyone.

I’ve come to like reading non-fiction better than fiction. It requires me to think and reason. Fiction sometimes brings sharks along.

Technology is amazing. Ethical piracy is essential.

Spread stuff on the bread!

It will happen. You know that right?

Post man!

So Memory Lane now has a few dogs answering the call of nature. They’ll have to be avoided. And I’ll have to take care not to step in the doo-doo in an advanced state of inebriation.

But it also has this lovely belladona growing which I’m starting to like.

And maybe that yew alley will work out too.

Oh my god!

So Facebook has this little thing on the sidebar where it recommends things to ‘like’. This thingie generally is all right but it has made me realise two things. The first is that I have way too much free time and the second is that – and this is the biggie – I do not like The Beatles.

You read that right. I don’t dislike them and yes, they’re pioneers and geniuses. I do not dispute that. But still, as far as I’m concerned, I don’t like them enough to ‘like’ them.

Told you I have way too much free time.

Enh!

An interesting thought

One of the better metaphors for a group of people is a cutlery drawer. There will be the sharpest knife in the drawer, a bunch of not-so-sharp but useful knives, one completely useless knife that no one knows why it’s there, a bunch of spoons, some forks and of course a twisty corkscrew. Not to mention bread knives, knives for soft fruits, cleavers… Hell! A cutlery drawer is the perfect metaphor for a group of people. This is what I’m going to use from now on till the end of time. In fact I think I’ll start labeling people I know in terms of cutlery. I’m limited only by the number of people I know and the types of cutlery I know. The latter is easily remedied – Thank you, Internet – and soon I shall start referring to people as ‘Cleaver’ or ‘Soup Spoon’ or maybe ‘Coke spoon’ (which Wiki assures me exists so don’t look at me like that). So everybody! Prepare to become cutlery!

I wonder who will be the boning knife.

All right, I have exams coming up.

You know what exams means? Blogposts! Not very interesting ones but you don’t care, right? Not everyone can be funny and interesting. I’ll leave that to the funny and interesting ones. I shall just not care and be indifferent to the benefits of being funny and interesting. It’s anyway hyped way too much and no, that’s not sour grapes. I’ve never had sour grapes. I’ve had sour mangoes though.

Speaking of mangoes, fruit season is back. Watermelon and Mango season, the season when you can beat hunger and thirst at the same time. You can also improve your digestion at the same time. Damn, Watermelons are a gift from the gods and thank you Africa!

Also, Wikipedia has a page called List of culinary fruits. Also only Wikipedia can have a “Hazards” section for Bel.

Come on up to the house!

So what is the up? Nothing mentionable you say? Ah well!

Hopefully my evenings should become mine again. EditPub is almost at an end. It’s been fun. We’ve had to present our books and I believe we did a fairly good job. Although working on the books was hell.

Anyway, when I’m old and cranky, I’ll be able to tell kids a quarter my age that I celebrated on the streets when India won the World Cup. Of course, this will annoy those kids like hell but that’s the whole point.

It is hot but not unbearably so. I’m just growing old hence I feel it is unbearable. One of these days, my advanced years will cause my hypothalamus to go into a tail spin thus making me mix up hot and cold. I await that day with considerable interest.

I have fairly good download speeds. I just don’t have enough time.