My parents and I have completely different ideas of preparing for a trip. I veer towards the Wake up, pack toothbrush and a couple of clothes and leave side. My parents however are firm members of the Prepare for Apocalypse cult. This is very distressing for someone as sensitive and retiring as me. One cannot waste time efficiently in a place where people are packing things all day. A person’s Indolence receptors can only function when there are no people working in the vicinity. This is the fundamental identity of Indolence.

The way people are packing here would make someone think that we’re planning to flee the country. Hopefully Mexico will be nice this time of year.

I have realized that I can survive Nuclear Winter. The only part of Nuclear Winter that might cause massive deaths seems to be the lack of Internet and mobile phones. I have been undergoing intense training for the past three years preparing for just such an eventuality. I wonder if all these mess-baris are actually a part of some secret government project to create a race of super-humans to repopulate the world after people die because of the lack of Internet Connectivity. If my mess-mates are the government’s idea of super-humans who should repopulate the world, I’m afraid the world is doomed. Humanity is going to end up serving cockroaches after all.

I actually gave a fairly good semester exam this time. I am surprised. I actually wrote a four-page answer. I’m impressed, Usually I zone out after a couple of paragraphs. Maybe I have ADHD. Who knows?

Well, I shall now disconnect myself from the Internet again.

Excuse me while I go off and establish friendly relations with all the cockroaches I come across.

I’m supposed to be studying but that is obviously not happening. What I have been doing however is wasting time on the internet and other such things. I have also been running around the house.

Now when I say “running around the house” I mean running. I keep running about, jumping over chairs, bounding up the stairs and generally being a hazard. However I have not been injured.

This evening however…

I was standing in the kitchen talking to my parents. I took a step forward in a calm, measured, sedate manner… and then there’s a moment when I think the world’s suddenly tilted around and then I’m on the floor.

It seems I had slipped on some water, and while trying to regain my balance I caught my foot in this contraption the maidservant uses to cart vessels around and hence I ended up on the floor.

I discovered that I had managed to acquire a barcodesque abrasion on my right wrist and a cut on my foot. I have no idea how I got those. I suppose I got those while obeying gravity. Along the way I also managed to injure my father.

It was an interesting experience, especially since it was completely unexpected. It’s been some time since fell. The last time I fell was when I fell out of that tree at The Indian Botanic Gardens. This was more entertaining. I felt like I was flying when I fell out of that tree. This time I felt confused, as if someone had suddenly decided to change the orientation of the world and forgot to tell me.

I also burst out laughing when I realised I was on the floor in a tangled heap- the constituents of the heap being myself, The Contraption and a karai. My mother, not to be outdone, asks me “Did you fall?”. I’m on the floor in a tangled heap when she says this.

In other news- I feel old. It’s almost the end of 5th Semester. It seems like only yesterday that it was 1st Semester. It’ll soon be 2010. I left school in 2007. That’s a long time ago. 1999 was ten years ago. 1999 seems like a couple of days ago. I find it hard to think of the time period 1996-2007 as a long time ago. I can’t remember a single thing about those years. They’re all a confused mish-mash in my head. I have no distinct, individual memories of those years but those years just seem very recent.

Soon It’ll be 6th Semester and I’ll have graduated. Then it’ll be time to face life. Peter Pan has all the luck.

More In other news I have a strange desire to watch Ninja Assassin. It just looks like a cool, mindless movie. Plus it has Ninjas. How can anything be bad if it has Ninjas? (Enter The Ninja was not bad. It was hilarious!)

I have decided not to watch 2012. I shall watch Ninja Assassin instead.

Even more In other news I’m getting a blister on my thumb. I will get the posters of our Macbeth project printed. They cost only Rs.40 each. There are six of them so that’s Rs.240. I can manage that. They’re damn cool. I’ll put up some once I get the soft copies. They have come out nicely, even if I do say so myself.

Some more In other News I’ve… no that’s about it. I’ve said all I’ve had to say. Oh wait no.

Shoutout All you Lurkers… Delurk!

Yeah, that’s about it.

I shall now waste time on the internet.

Why am I poor? Money seems to disappear like well, money. It is especially sad when you want that money to buy books.

Damn it!

Excuse me? When does the next train to Hermit Junction leave? I’ve heard Hermit Junction is a nice place. Is this train the one through Bitter Town and Aloneville? Damn! Are there no other trains? Ah well! I’ll get back to you.

I have been really bored at home. So I decided to waste time productively by wasting it on Terragen. Here are the results

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This is a random terrain which I then edited and then played around with the sliders.

The Terrain Map is one I created. The rest are all experiments with Haze density and Atmospheric Blue Half-height.

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I then moved on to Blender 3D. I love this software. It’s powerful, fairly light on the system and is open-source freeware. But just because it’s open-source and free doesn’t mean it’s light on features. It has features comparable to high-end 3D Modellers like 3DS Max, Maya and Cinema 4D. Anyway here’s what I came up with

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The Tumblers are a set of SpinDuplicated Vertices.

The .blend file on Rapidshare

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I’d suggest everyone give Blender a try. It’s a lot of fun.

Download Blender

Also you might try out Terragen^TM Classic.

Download Terragen^TM Classic

And if you have a really powerful computer and the inclination, you might even download the Limited Freeware edition of Terragen^TM 2

Download Terragen^TM 2

Well, see you later.

All right, so I can cross that off my list. It’s just bigger, noisier and with the right kind of people around, funner.

My mother has gone crazy. For the first time in twenty years, she has decided to display a Golu. And she has done so. And she has started buying dolls with a vengeance. Today she went and bought a pair of the most creepy-ass dolls ever imagined by a doll-maker tripping on acid and pissed off with life.

Let me give you a word picture(I’ll put up a real picture later).

The dolls are a big ol’ turbaned, mustachioed North Indian and his grinning, made up, fat-ass wife. The wife has a grin which would scare the shit out of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.^# To add to the horror, Their heads are mounted on a coiled piece of metal so that they fucking loll about as if The Headless Horseman was having a bad day

Yes, Interesting times we live in.

Also, Would you agree that the most frustrating thing possible is when you reach the counter and it closes for lunch? (Yes/No)

Speaking of which, Women should not be allowed to man counters selling bus tickets. When you are standing in a line waiting to catch a bus quickly, you do not want to listen to a bunch of women exclaiming “Oma! Ki Shundor!” and forgetting that they’re supposed to be handing people bus tickets!. You won’t catch men doing that. They may be just lazy, inefficient and corrupt but at least they won’t forget about doing their job. They will willfully ignore it. That’s different.

^# Also check out the picture in the wiki article on Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. If that’s not gay…

I didn’t really like studying Hindi in class IX and X. I liked the period because we would have to change classes and there would be the inevitable chaos and struggle for seats. There were quite a few good poems and stories. There were also some good essays. But on the whole, I didn’t really like giving Hindi exams. However I really liked some of the stuff we had to read.

There was “परशुराम की प्रतीक्षा” by Ramdhari Singh Dinkar, there were poems by Harivanshrai Bachchan and others. There were essays by Hazari Prasad Dwivedi. It was actually quite a good course. I should actually have studied it with a bit more interest.

My favourites were however the dohas of Kabir and Rahim.

And as usual, you can find anything you want on google.

Kabir’s Dohas

There are also links to Rahim’s dohas and many other literary works.

This is why I love the internet.

Out of my four limbs, three are currently injured.

The big toe on my right foot got stepped on by a football boot and it hurts a bit. If you’re wondering why it hurts there was someone wearing the boot.

My left shin has a brilliant scrape on it, which runs all the from from my knee almost to my foot. I went to wash myself after a game of football and slipped and scraped my leg on the concrete.

I had to take a TetVac. My left arm is thus in pain.

My parents have so far not said a word about my left shin. This is interesting. They have either not noticed it or they are inured to the sight of me sporting a couple of hundred injuries. I think it is the latter.I came home wearing shorts yesterday. That by itself would have caused comment but it did not. Interesting.

I wonder if the Alien Invasion is here…

I’m sure everyone remembers this song. If you don’t… Well, then you’re one of those people born after this song went out of fashion(Which would be around 2000 CE)

It was released in 1995 so it had a good run.

I remember Devang Patel had a lot of other funny stuff.

I couldn’t find the lyrics online so I sat down and took them down

Stop That….

Maen Apne sar pe haath rakhke kasam khata hoon ki maen jo kuch bhi kahunga sach kahonga aur sach ke siva aur kuch bhi nahin kahoonga

lekin maen jabhi kisi se kuch kehene jaata hoon to woh log mujhe bol deten hain…

Stop That!

Meri batein sun kar dekho hasna nahin
Usse jhoot maan kar kahin phasna nahin
Maen sab sach kehata hoon, Aap ki kasam
Maene piya nahin whiskey, beer ya rum

Madhuri Dixit mili raste mein
Khaye chane humne sazte mein
Usne kaha tere sang shaadi rachaoon
Ghar tere aake mein parathe pakoon

Madhuri ko kaha maene, Ghar na aana
Sridevi ko bol diya, Na baba na

Chahe Dahej mein de mujhe
sone ki car
Ya aake koi dede mujhe
heeron ka haar

par shaadi ke liye
maen to kaccha hoon
Abhi sau saal ka
Chotta baccha hoon

Mere daddu, pehen diaper
chasme pur unke Wiper
Daddy ki, tooti haddi
Jab khele woh kabbadi

Maene Everest pe football khela hae
Maene haathon se train ko dhakela haen
kushtand Daara Singh mera chela haen
Mere ghodon ka Chaand pe tabela haen

—Interlude—

Dhirubai Ambanai leke aaye Cycle
Chaye peegaye toh dena para mujhe bill
Harshad Mehta mila mujhe Mandir ke dwaar
Paanch rupaye maange usne mujhse udhaar

Blank Cheque deke maene Sign kar di
Harshad ne usme se suit case kharidi

Ab Income pe koi tax nahin hoga
aur Sau ke note pe mera photo hoga

Rishwat compulsory karne bara abhiyaye hoga
Sab Mantriyon ka dress chaddi baniyan hoga

Neta Jo chunav haara
Sar mundwa lega saara
Jo dega jhoote bhashan
na milega use rashun (*ration)

gharwaali milegi sabko goongi
Police pehanenge ab sirf lungi
Doctor mufat mein operation karenge
Sarkari karmachari ab kaam karenge

—Interlude—

Andhe ne kaha chalo film dekhe
Langda bola nahin aaja football sikhe
ganja puche kahan gaya mera kangha
loole ne mara mukka to hua danga

Supari khake buddha mare pichkari
Sale(?) maene dekha use ek aankh maari

Goonga bina sur taal gaane laga gaan
suna behere ne band kiye apne kaan

Kabhi ek tingu ped se giraye nariyal
ab se zyada bache walon ko to ho jayegi jail

Pagal bhi chess khele
Cirket khelega Pele
Ms. India rakkhe Daaddi
Rambo pehenega Saari

Big(?) hone par sabke height kategi
Shuddh hawa pe sarkar tax rakhegi
sikke boune se paison ki bel kheligi
Cycle ke liye permit milegi

—-Interlude———–

Aa raha hain mera ek picture nayan
Bachchan hai villian aur heroine jaya
Subhash Ghai ne jab mujhe sign kiya
Saath baithe hum donon ne wine piya

Jackie Chan ko sikhayi maene fight action
Mere gaanon ko churaye Michael Jackson

Actor nahin Maen Cricketer bhi hoon
Maen to Kapil se badhiya hard-hitter bhi hoon
Tabhi ghabrakar Kambli naen shout kiya
Jab Sachin ko maene bowled out kiya

Maen aur Ratan Tata
Jab lene gaye atta
Chakki pe baithe Tyson
Sabko bech raha tha Besan

P.T.usha ne mujhe drink cold diya tha
Jab Olympic ke daud mein maene Gold liya tha
Ek jyotish ne jab mera hath dekha tha
naun hathon ko hi mere jaisa aisa kaha tha

Meri batein sun kar dekho hasna nahin
Usse jhoot maan kar kahin phasna nahin
Maen sab sach kehata hoon, Aap ki kasam
Maene piya nahin whiskey, beer ya rum

Stop That…

My aim is to memorize this song.

I’ll post later about this song and Devang Patel

Maybe we should analyse this song. It would be a lot of fun.

Well would you believe it? It’s been almost a month since I last came home. I’ve been in Calcutta for almost a whole month. Interesting

So how’s everything?

I’ve shifted from my old mess to a new one. The new one is near 8B and is way better than the previous one.

I left the previous mess because the quality of food they were serving was awful. Then the landlord decided to increase the rent. So I shifted., Bitch!

The food was inedible. I stuck it out for two years. I stayed at that mes for Two years. I stayed in a plywood room for two years, but then one day…

They served chalkumro. Chalkumro is basically a type of pumpkin which is bad even if cooked well. This was cooked very badly. It was the final straw. I left.

They had also become very annoying. I like my independence. So I left.

The plywood room made me feel claustrophobic. So I left.

The bathrooms started running out of water. So I left.

The other people started annoying me. So I left.

The new mess is way better. We shop and then the cook cooks whatever we buy. She’s a good cook.

I havetotal freedom.

The room is an actual room.

The bathroom is not on the roof.

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In other news, I had to give a ten minute presentation for my Optional PopFic. I was originally give the topic “Carroll and Parody” but I switched and got “The Arrow of Time” with respect to Carroll’s Through the Looking-Glass. It was a damn easy paper to write. All you have to do is read Stephen Hawkings and Carroll and the paper writes itself. All the ideas will just pour out of your head. It was a lot of fun.

I have also given a class test for my Modernism Core. That wasn’t half as much fun.

I have a couple of more tests lined up.

We’re supposed to start Beckett and M.E. Braddon.

Interesting times ahead.