It’s two minutes to midnight of the second day of the new year. Happy New Year! Or at least, New Year! It’s apparently a big deal. It doesn’t matter! Unless you committed a crime some time ago and the statute of limitations is about to run out. In which case, Congratulations! You will soon be an innocent man again. Or a man who cannot be prosecuted. Which, now that I think about it, is actually better. Innocence is no guarantee of freedom from prosecution. And on that note, let me tell you that I am listening to country and western. That information is of no consequence and is entirely unrelated to anything I’ve said so far. But this is the information age and knowledge is power and power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely and we thought we were so clever in high school when we combined those two quotes to say knowledge corrupts. But then again, lots of loonies say the same thing. I’m not sure if that proves that we were crackpots in high school or that crackpots never left the high school phase.
I’ve been having a swimming holiday. By which I do not mean that it’s a holiday in which I went swimming. I haven’t been swimming in donkey’s years now. Apparently, donkey’s years has its origins in rhyming slang; it being originally donkey ears as a slang for years. How times change. Happy New Donkey Ears! Which might be a delicacy is some part of the world. I wonder if donkey meat tastes good. Horse meat apparently is good. We have the evidence of many parts of the world for that statement. Notice how I’m rambling on. I’ve decided that is going to be my shtick from now on. I am going to adopt an easy, rambling conversational style till I come up with something better. And once I come up with something better, I will finally write that book about time travel that I’ve been meaning to for the past five years. Will anybody even read this far into the post to know that I have an idea for a book? And having read this far, will they try to steal that idea from me? This is the information age and knowledge is power and a little knowledge is a dangerous thing and I’ve repeated myself and this repetition is also a part of my new style since I used this technique in a previous post of mine but I won’t tell you which so go read them all! There aren’t too many. There isn’t too much punctuation either apparently. I don’t know why. I usually like punctuation.
In the days since I got on the train to come home, I have had a fight with two different people– a verbal battle, I hasten to point out. Both ended in a draw, although in the first one, they were scared of me for the rest of the journey, so yay? I definitely terrorized their kid into staying still in his seat though, so definitely yay! As you might have guessed, I’m not a fan of kids.
I met friends after a long time. Everybody’s changed. We’re all growing old. Everybody’s accepting that it’s way more important to hang out with people you’re friends with than with everybody you know. Of course, they’re too polite to put that into action. And none of them will be reading this far down the post anyway. But yes, they’re too scared of society’s condemnation to challenge it. They will be culled when I become Evil Overlord. Or kept for my personal amusement. Or made pawns in my schemes. That last one was an inside reference to one of the few people who read this blog. Now the rest of you are feeling alienated and muttering about being loyal consumers of content and deserving more attention and look at me! Don’t worry, I won’t charge you using your prefered payment method. That’s only for ice-cream. Although ice-cream is now too expensive for your payment method to work. That was also an inside joke. And that’s how sitcoms work. Inside references and jokes until continuity lock happens and you have to watch it all to keep up. This is the Arrested Development of blog posts.
I had a point when I began this post. Now it’s lost. Like the little list with your hopes and dreams on it. Now you’re just a hollow husk, earning cash for the
Man Person, trying to add some colour to your life by doing things that you think are fun and make you look like you have a life. But you know it’s all pretense. You’re only doing this so that the people you talk to become envious and then you feel a little better about yourself. You need to put others down because you can only rise by stepping on their shattered dreams and ambitions. You’ve accepted the dominant paradigm of this world. And now you’re wondering what the dominant paradigm of the world is. And now you’re coming to the slow realisation that that sentence was a load of poppycock. And now you’re leaving in a huff and I’m feeling superior to you and, according to the dominant paradigm, I’m three and two-fourth gronks ahead of you and you owe me beer. Fun fact: Dominant Paradigm is a fun thing to slip into conversation. Try it some time.
There is a certain beauty in incoherence. At certain points, it morphs into this subtle, organic mirror of life. Of course, that previous sentence was bull. Which proves that there is no beauty in my incoherence. I’m just incoherent for the sake of being incoherent. Punk Incoherence! Incoherent Punk! Dibs on the band name.
Famous people died last year. Not that my saying anything about it is of any use. But recent wikipedia lists of the deaths in a year make for depressing reading. And now that I’ve said that, people are going to be reading wikipedia like crazy. If not in this universe, then in another. That’s the fun thing about believing in many universes. It’s a consolation. It’s better than dreams, yet not real. Transient, ephemeral, subtle. I just said three random words. You guessed I was saying that so you didn’t even read the previous sentence.
I read a fair bit last year. I read a lot of non-fiction last year. It felt good. But I also read fiction. I’ve started thinking about everything I read. I’m not sure if that’s a sign of age or a sign of being annoying. I’m only blogging because you asked me if I still did.
Fun! Fun! Fun!