Dilliwalleh! Dilliwalleh!

I’ve been in Delhi for more than a year now. If I were asked to name the first three words that came to my mind when asked to describe this city, they would be: haze, dust, and harsh. Harsh. That’s the word I use the most for this city. It’s harsh.

This city has its good spots. This city exudes history. You can’t help but be impressed when you see the Red Fort or Jama Masjid. The Lodhi Gardens are insanely beautiful and the tombs there are lovely. You can feel the gulf of years and you wonder about the man lying under the grave. You wonder if Iltutmish ever thought he’d have school children clamber up on his tomb and take stupidly posed photographs for their social media display photos. That must have made for an interesting nightmare. When I went to the Red Fort, I kept wondering what it must have been like at the height of its glory. Right now it’s a carcass. But back when the Diwan-i-khas still had its silver roof, the rooms were richly adorned and the Yamuna was not a drain, it must have been an imposing sight. Ozymandias indeed.

Yet the city is harsh. It’s harsh in the way it treats people. It’s harsh in the way people treat each other. Its climate is harsh and it’s harsh in the way people treat it.

I don’t really like the city. I live here because I have to. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t. But it’s the place to find gainful employment in the field I pursue. So here I am. But the city and I are not friends. We tolerate each other. I don’t like that it’s spread out so much and I don’t like how everything is so insanely spread out. I don’t like it that it is not really pedestrian friendly. I dislike the fact that primacy is given to vehicles. I don’t like the fact that public transport is so erratic. The metro is good but it’s not always convenient and the buses are a pain to figure out. I have no idea which bus goes where and, even if I did, their frequency does not inspire confidence. And I’m not a fan of catching autos. Walking in this city is not usually feasible. I like walking. I like going about a place on foot, enjoying the sights, stopping to look at something more closely or just listening to music and walking about. I like the pace of walking. I like the swing of walking. I like the feel of the earth under my feet. And I like walking because it lets me discover new ways and nooks and crannies. But this city is not conducive to walking. Unless you do it in spaces set aside for that purpose. Then it’s brilliant. But I don’t walk for my health. I walk to walk. And there this city does not help.

I dislike the way people are quick to pick a fight here. And I dislike the fact that I’m also becoming quick-tempered. This city covers you in a patina of anger and frustration and you lash out at small things to ease yourself. I can see it happening to me and I don’t like it. Maybe it’s the climate but small things can escalate quickly here and everybody feels they’re the one wronged. Which, a moment’s thought will tell you, is scarcely credible. But there it is.

I don’t like the way people push and try to get ahead all the time here. Be it an auto or a shop, they have to run and get ahead. I can’t understand it. What are you going to achieve by running around everywhere? Do you think it makes you look busy and efficient? Do you think it makes you look important? I’m bewildered by this urge to get ahead of everyone. It’s especially annoying when it happens at the Metro. Just stand in a fucking queue already! Why do you want to sit so badly? This is especially annoying when everybody is already standing in line and some asshole will deliberately try to cut ahead. More than anything else, it clogs the door and then people are pushing from both ends. Why must you push? What do you think is going to happen when you push? As a result, I now keep my elbows out and bang such people with my shoulders and shove them with my forearm. See what I mean about patina of anger and frustration?

This also happens on the streets. If the traffic slows down, invariably some idiot will decide to get into the opposite lane and try to get ahead. This, of course, causes the opposite lane to clog up and so people in that lane get into the opposite lane and now both lanes are clogged and people are yelling and everybody is blowing their horn. I’m not sure what they think will happen if they blow their horns. Do they think their horn is some magical device which will melt the traffic in front of them with magic? The only reason more people don’t die is because you can’t go quickly enough to kill anyone.

I also don’t like most people I see. I want to punch most of them in the face. Or at least yell at them and jump on their faces with jackboots on. I’m not sure what jackboots are but their primary purpose seems to treading down on the downtrodden. So they can surely be used for crushing faces. I don’t like the fact that people here either don’t or can’t parallel park. I don’t like how they think once they’ve parked their car it’s not their problem that the road is now almost impassable and as far as they’re concerned their car is parked perfectly and no one better ding it. These are the people whom I wish to shoot with a shotgun. In the face. I am not a cheery soul.

This city and I are not at war. But this city and I are not in love.

But I like some facets of this city. I like that it lets people from everywhere live here. People become Delhiites. You live here for any amount of time and you reach an uneasy truce with the city. You agree to look at the best bits about each other and to sweep the problems under the carpet. I don’t want to become one but I fear I might. Or I might be able to some day point at a Delhiite and say “There, but for the grace of God, go I.”

They have a point.

I was reading the Conservapedia articles on stuff like Atheism, God, Jesus Christ,Examples of Bias in Wikipedia and The Theory of Evolution.

Mainly it’s what you’d expect from an Americentric socially conservative and Conservative Christian point of view. Their theories are full of shit. They only show studies which support their view. And of course, lots of self-righteous judgement.To quote an article

The is considerable amount of scientific evidence that suggest that theism is more conducive to mental and physical health than atheism.

It’s actually a lot of crap. Read the articles if you want to laugh.

Although what’s scary is that unlike Uncyclopedia, which is pure satire, these people are serious about what they write. They actually believe in all of this. I don’t really have a problem with that, since that’s their belief system. But it’s sad how they refuse to accept other points-of-view. Can’t see much progress if everybody remains so close-minded.

Also some of their articles state theories that are well, not proven. In their article on abortion they state that

The vast majority of scientific studies have shown that abortion causes an increase in breast cancer, including 16 out of 17 statistically significant studies. Studies showing that abortion increases breast cancer predate the political controversy.It is undisputed that childbirth protects against breast cancer, and thus early termination of pregnancy must increase the risk of cancer for the mother compared to carrying that same pregnancy to birth. Yet the abortion industry conceals this increased risk, just as the tobacco industry concealed its cancer risk for decades.

I wonder how they decided how statistically significant a study was. Also I wonder if they took other factors into account. In the article I couldn’t find anything that said so.

And the article on Gender Differences states that

Gender differences between men and women have been known since antiquity. Man are more masculine (manly), and women are more feminine. Not only are their physical bodies different, but there are significant character differences as well. This makes sense, because God made men and women “in his image” (Genesis 1:27) so as to reflect his divine nature. (Romans 1:20)

.

Oh and did you know that Homosexual have an agenda? Yes, according to this article they did.

I don’t have anything against the site. After all, no one’s forcing me to read anything on it. In fact there’s nothing wrong with it.

Yet, it just doesn’t feel right. Reading it makes no sense. Trying to understand why anyone would write anything that only states a biased point of view is hard. This is especially ironic since it was formed because they claimed Wikipedia was biased. πŸ™„

Oh well. There’s always Uncyclopedia.

God knows…

I need a new nose.

For the past couple of days my routine has been.

Step 1:: Sneeze.
Step 2:: Wipe Nose.
Step 3:: Curse.

Repeat from top.

And now I’m irritated. I’m also bored. I have to study. I also have to collect my exam roll no. Damn It.

WTF??? 9X Fairness Cream ad sucks. X(

I don’t like normal “fairness cream” ads. I consider them to be a stupid fuck-off. But this ad for “9X Fairness Cream” has really made me see red.

The ad shows some woman meeting her friend at the airport and commenting on her “blemished” face. She hands a “9X fairness cream” thingy. The girl goes all soppy and applies it. Wonder of Wonders. . . In 9 seconds Not only does her skin become “fairer” and “blemish-free” but her hair also turns blond 😯

All right, so far it’s just another crappy fairness ad but then scene goes back to the airport. . .

She Sneers at that friend( That’s gratitude for you πŸ™„ ) goes to the passport counter and the dumb prick seated there says. . .

“Foreign Passport that side ma’am ”

The “woman” replies ” mazaak chodiye ji, mai to hindustani hoon” (Stop Joking, I am an Indian)

And the guy is shocked.

End of Ad. 😑 😑 😑

What the bloody fuck does this mofo company want to imply? That being a “fair foreigner” is superior to being a “dark-skinned Indian”?

And our dear Information Minister Priyaranjan Das Munshi spends his time banning FTV and AXN and similar stuff to “preserve” our “moral fabric”. Bullshit. Stupid pricks can’t even function properly.

Gaah.

NOTE:: An alternate version of the ad has the woman saying at the end “Oho! Tussi Ki Keh rahe ho ji” while making weirdo coquettish movements.

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Musings on language

I was listening to the song “Pain” by “Three Days Grace”. They’re quite a good band and the song is very good but back to the point.

The song has a certain line
You’re sick of feeling numb.

Now Numb is defined as Lacking sensation

If you’re “lacking sensation” how can you feel numb????? I’ve heard a couple of my friends use this expression also. I wonder:-“Do they not know the proper usage of this term?”

The proper usage should be ” I have become numb” or “I have been numbed ” or ” I was in a state of numbness”

Please use terms properly. Thank you.

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Beware of the K.M.R.

Okay, this will be quite a substantial post. Why? Because I went and submitted my End-Sem exam forms to the K.M.R. a.k.a The place that drives you mad (ref. The Twelve Tasks of Asterix) a.k.a Bureaucratic Hell. But let’s start at the beginning shall we?

On Monday, 8th Oct, A notice comes up on the Dep notice board that Tuesday, 9th Oct was the last date to submit End-Sem exam forms without fine and Thursday, 11th Oct was the last date to submit forms with a Rs.5 fine. They would accept only fines picked up from the K.M.R. and forms DLoaded from the Uni website. So I got a form printed and photocopied it. Went to K.M.R. at 10:00 A.M. on Tuesday to submit forms. Went and stood in the shorted line along with two other friends. Some other friends had gone and stood in the longer line( coz they didn’t know the shorter line existed…until we told them, by which time it was too late to switch lines) Stood there for FIVE frikkin hours and then those @#$%#$ wouldn’t accept my form coz it was a photocopy. The little @$$#o|35. Then went on Friday, Stood in line for three hours and submitted a fresh form. Bloody freaks. Stuck in the administrative processes of 1943. And there were these geniuses in line who were paying their sem fees at the same time. And some Einstiens who filled their forms incorrectly. Stupid buggers.

Helped Sandy pick up and organize the JUDE dept T-Shirts. Poor Sandy has gone quite bald with this task. Also the T-Shirt guy has made some quite entertaining mistakes. He’s put “L” tags on size “Small” T-Shirts. Some people are going to get a shock when they pick up their Tees. 😈 Also he’s messed up some orders. But on the whole he’s done stuff properly. So that’s cool.

Met Karma Mingyur Yonzone a.k.a Kong a.k.a The Beast from the North-East. This man has to be seen to be believed.

Went out to eat quite a bit.

Exams from Nov 26th.

See quite a big post.

Chill.

Back again.

I need better titles. Newayz, been some time since I’ve blogged. Muchos Apologies. So What’s Up?

I’ve got my JU ID card. This means I should get a new mobile number soon.

I have been reading a lot. Poems, essays, novels….you get the drift. I’m planning to join a couple of libraries.

I’ve had to be extremely careful when spending. It’s quite a new feeling having to look in the wallet and wonder where all that money went.

I have good filter coffee once a week. There are a couple of places where for Rs.10 you get a nice bit of filter coffee.

The food at my mess S.U.C.K.S Big time. There’s only potatoes, veggies are a rarity. Fish/Egg and sometimes chicken.

Kolkata’s water tastes awful.

The traffic is murderous. You never know who’s gonna go berserk, climb the footpath(when there’s such a thing) and run over you. The State buses, minibuses,share autos(a peculiar phenomenon in which one auto contains six people) race to get the most passengers. If in the process they run over a few people, well…they don’t really care.

That’s all for now.